Trystan's Torrent of Totally Titillating Testimonials, Trivial Tales & Tribulations



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2006-06-07 - 8:19 p.m.

Once Upon A Time, a songbird was flying south for the winter and had sorely underestimated the weather. As he was trying to make his way south to warmer climes, he was caught in a cold snap. He crash landed when ice started forming on his wings. As he was lying stunned upon the ground, he realized he was starting to freeze to death. Just then, a cow came along and dropped a large pile of dung on him. As the dung warmed him up, his joy at his sudden good fortune knew no bounds. He was so pleased that he started to sing, as songbirds are wont to do. A passing cat heard the song and dug him out and ate him up.

The moral of this story is twofold.
Not everyone who takes a shit on you is your enemy, and not everyone who is willing to dig you out of deep shit is necessarily your friend.


Once Upon A Time a young woman was walking home through a pass in some high mountains. She saw a snake lying torpid on the cold rocks, slowly freezing to death. She took pity on the snake and put it inside her shirt to warm it up, thinking to save its life. When the snake was again able to move, it promptly bit her upon the breast. As the hapless young woman lay dying from the venom, her final thoughts were to wonder why the snake would kill her for daring to save its life.

The moral of this story is simpler. Don't be a jackass and put poisinous snakes in your clothes on purpose.

I was in my third professional heavy combat jousting tournament over Memorial Day Weekend, but I just don't feel like writing about it yet. Sorry, joust fans.

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